Little brother Max: The wide smile I fell in love with will stay... Well at least for a little while longer!!

Max was scheduled for his lip repair, PE tubes, palate revision and some nasal work for December 4th. We were going to go to Syracuse on the 3rd to stay over night and be easier for the day of surgery. Our arrival time at the hospital was to be 6:30am.
On the 3rd, we received a call from the Dr's office that the surgery was canceled as the Dr's father was critically ill and he was flying to see him. Later in the day, the hospital called to review the surgical orders with us. I told them we were called and the Dr canceled the surgery. She said moments later that she was just informed of the Dr's cancelation.
On the 7th, I was called by the Dr's office, as they had to reshedule what was supposed to be Max's post op appointment. I'm sad to say the Dr's father passed. On Monday I will find out when Max's surgery will take place.

As far as his sugery being cancelled, I'm not at all sad. As a matter of fact I'm glad!!! I was sad though thinking about Max having the surgery and having the face I fell in love with be forever changed, never to be seen again, not to mention the pain he will have following surgery. You might think I'm crazy but for those of you that have a child born with a cleft, you know exactly what I mean! I know... I know.... It's best that he has the surgery and I know that he couldn't live as full and happy of life if he was never to have it..... BUT... I cry when I think of not ever seeing his sweet little wide smile again! That is a part of Max and a part of him that I fell in love with!
I also feel sad because Max will know what is going on, more so than he did with his first procedure. I think he will make a big stink when they take him to surgery. If he does, I'm going to see if I can take him down to the surgical suite in hopes that it won't be as traumatic for him....we'll see. So.. for now... I get to engrain Max's face into my memory a little while longer, taking in his little expressions and facial movements that soon I will never see again.... forever changed.....
Here are a few pictures of the two peanutheads and the faces I fell in love with!!

The peanutheads! Max's shirt says "Always happy" and he in fact usually is a happy little guy. Sonja loves Max and is more tolerant of him than before. She's growing up so fast... too fast!